By Pam Morris, Early Learning Center director
Education as a career path and life goal began for me in 1992 with my graduation with a BS in Psychology from Binghamton University. That fall, I entered my master’s program in Early Childhood Education at the same university, different school and I never looked back! With many relevant degrees, over 3 decades of hands-on experience, Early Childhood Education is my passion, my raison d’etre, my tachlit, my reason for being.
Toddlers are my favorite age group to talk about with parents—not because they’re easy (anyone who’s experienced a two-year-old meltdown knows better), but because they’re at such a magical stage of development. After 30 years in education and 14 years leading early childhood programs, I’ve watched thousands of toddlers navigate this wild, wonderful time, and I want to share what truly matters when choosing a program for your one, two, or three-year-old.
Understanding the Toddler Brain
Let me start with what I learned in my graduate studies and have witnessed countless times since: toddlers are not just “small preschoolers.” Their brains are developing at an extraordinary rate, and they have unique developmental needs.
Toddlers are learning to:
- Regulate their emotions (hence the famous meltdowns)
- Communicate with increasing complexity
- Assert independence while still needing security
- Develop physical skills at a rapid pace
- Navigate social relationships for the first time
A quality toddler program understands these developmental realities and builds everything around them.
The Teacher-Child Ratio Matters Enormously
In my years as director, I’ve never compromised on this: toddler classrooms need lower ratios than preschool rooms. Look for no more than 1:5 for younger toddlers and 1:7 for older toddlers approaching three.
Why? Toddlers need:
- Help with self-care tasks (toileting, handwashing, eating)
- Immediate support during emotional moments
- Close supervision for safety as they test physical limits
- Individual attention to support language development
- Responsive care that builds secure attachment
When I observe a toddler classroom, I watch to see if teachers can be truly present with children or if they’re stretched so thin they’re just managing chaos.
Emotional Safety Comes First
Here’s what three decades in education has taught me: academic skills can be taught at any age, but emotional security and self-regulation built during the toddler years create a foundation for everything that follows.
A quality toddler program should:
Welcome big feelings. Teachers should help toddlers name emotions, not shame them for having feelings. You should hear language like “You’re feeling frustrated” rather than “Stop crying.”
Provide consistent routines. Toddlers thrive on predictability. The schedule shouldn’t be rigid, but there should be a comforting rhythm to the day.
Support transitions. Moving from one activity to another is genuinely hard for toddlers. Quality programs give warnings, use songs or signals, and allow enough time.
Build secure relationships. Ideally, your toddler should have a primary teacher who knows them deeply and creates a secure base for exploration.
The Environment Should Be Toddler-Designed
Walk into the classroom and look around. Can you tell it’s designed for toddlers, or does it look like a preschool room with smaller chairs?
What you want to see:
Low shelves where toddlers can independently access materials. They’re building autonomy—let them choose their own books and toys.Defined spaces for different types of play: a cozy book corner, an area for gross motor movement, a spot for sensory exploration, a dramatic play area.
Materials that match developmental stages: simple puzzles (4-8 pieces), cause-and-effect toys, things to stack and sort, art supplies, sensory materials, push-and-pull toys.
Evidence of real learning: photos of the children at their eye level, their artwork displayed, signs that the space is shaped by the actual toddlers who use it.
Red flags:
Toys meant for much older children or babies—this shows the program doesn’t understand toddler development.
Mostly teacher-directed crafts that all look identical. Toddlers should be exploring materials, not producing Pinterest-worthy art.
Worksheets. No toddler needs worksheets. Period.
Language Development Happens All Day
Some of the most important learning in a toddler program happens during everyday moments. When I observe classrooms, I listen to how teachers use language:
During diapering and toileting: “I’m going to help you take off your wet diaper. Now we’ll wipe. All clean!”
During meals: “You’re using your spoon! The pasta is slippery, isn’t it?”
During play: “You stacked three blocks! What will happen if we add another?”
During conflicts: “Mia wants the truck. You’re playing with it. What can we do?”
Quality toddler teachers provide a running commentary that builds vocabulary, explains the world, and supports social-emotional learning. This “serve and return” interaction is what brain research shows builds neural pathways.
Toileting Philosophy and Approach
This is a big one for parents, and I’ve seen every approach imaginable over my 30 years in the field.
Here’s my professional stance:A quality program should:
- Follow your family’s lead on toilet training timing
- Never shame or pressure children
- Celebrate successes without making accidents a big deal
- Partner with you on the approach and keep you informed
- Understand that accidents are a normal part of learning
Be cautious of programs that require children to be fully toilet trained by a certain age. Development happens on each child’s timeline, and pressure often backfires.
Large Motor Play Is Non-Negotiable (
Toddlers need to move. Their gross motor skills are exploding, and they need space to run, climb,
jump, and explore. During my graduate studies, I researched the impact of large motor play on early
development, and the evidence is overwhelming.
Ask about:
- How much large motor time is offered daily? (I recommend at least 60 minutes for full-day programs)
- What’s available outside? (More than just a slide—look for varied terrain, natural materials, multiple types of equipment)
- What’s available inside? We do live in Southern Arizona so hot weather is a real deterrent.
- Do they go out in different weather? (Light rain, cold days with proper clothing—this shouldn’t stop outdoor time)
- How do teachers engage outside? (Are they playing with children or standing on the sidelines?)
Social-Emotional Learning Is the Curriculum
Yes, toddlers will learn colors, shapes, and numbers in a quality program. But if that’s the program’s
primary focus, they’re missing what toddlerhood is really about.
The real curriculum for toddlers is:
- Learning to share and take turns
- Developing empathy
- Problem-solving conflicts
- Building friendships
- Gaining independence in self-care
- Expressing needs and feelings with words
- Developing confidence and resilience
I’ve seen children who knew their ABCs at two but couldn’t cope with frustration or play cooperatively.
Conversely, I’ve watched toddlers with strong social-emotional skills blossom academically when they were developmentally ready.
Parent Communication Should Be Rich and Regular
At our center, I emphasize daily communication between teachers and families. For toddlers especially, you should expect:
- Daily reports on eating, sleeping, toileting, and activities
- Regular photos or updates about what your child is doing
- Immediate notification if your child is hurt or very upset
- Scheduled conferences to discuss development
- An open-door policy for questions and concerns
Toddler teachers should know your child well enough to tell you about their day in specific detail—not just “They had a good day” but “She spent 20 minutes at the water table and got so excited when she made the wheel turn!”
Diversity and Inclusion at the Toddler Level
At the Early Learning Center, we welcome families from all backgrounds, and I believe this benefits even our youngest learners. Toddlers are noticing differences and forming ideas about people.
Look for programs that:
- Have diverse books, dolls, and materials
- Celebrate various cultural traditions
- Use inclusive language
- Model acceptance and kindness toward all people
- Include diverse images at toddlers’ eye level
Children who experience diversity from the earliest ages develop more inclusive worldviews. This matters.
Health and Safety StandardsAfter 14 years in leadership positions, I can tell you that health and safety should be visible everywhere:
Cleanliness protocols: Diapering areas sanitized between each child, frequent handwashing, regular toy cleaning
Safety measures: Outlet covers, secured furniture, gates where needed, constant supervision
Illness policies: Clear sick policies that protect all children while being realistic for working families
Emergency preparedness: Fire drills, emergency contact systems, staff trained in first aid and CPR
The Teacher’s Education and Experience
I have a master’s degree in early childhood education, and while I believe education matters, I also know that the best toddler teachers combine training with experience and genuine affection for this age group.
Ask about:
- Teachers’ educational backgrounds in early childhood
- Years of experience specifically with toddlers
- Ongoing professional development
- How long teachers have been at the program (retention matters)
Be wary of high turnover. Toddlers need consistency, and if teachers are constantly leaving, there’s usually a reason.
Red Flags I’d Watch For
After three decades in this field, here’s what would concern me:
- Teachers yelling at or speaking harshly to children
- Long periods where toddlers are expected to sit still
- Use of screen time (toddlers need hands-on experiences, not tablets)
- A chaotic feel—quality toddler programs are busy but not out of control
- Reluctance to let you observe or visit unannounced
- Inability to clearly explain their approach to behavior and development
Trust Your Gut and Your ChildI always tell parents: you know your child better than anyone. Some toddlers thrive with lots of activity and stimulation; others need a calmer environment. Some are ready for full days; others do better with half-days. There’s no one perfect program—there’s the perfect program for your child.
Visit during active times. Watch your child’s reaction if you bring them along. Notice how you feel in the space. Can you imagine your toddler happy and engaged there?
Final Thoughts
Choosing a toddler program is about finding a place that understands this unique, challenging, delightful stage of development. It’s about finding teachers who see past the tantrums to the remarkable learning happening every day. It’s about finding a community where your family feels welcomed and your child feels cherished.
The toddler years go by in a flash—messy, exhausting, and absolutely magical. The right program will partner with you through this journey, celebrating the victories (first words, successful potty trips, acts of kindness) and supporting you through the challenges.
Take your time choosing. Ask questions. Observe closely. The investment you make in finding the right toddler program pays dividends in your child’s confidence, social skills, and lifelong love of learning.
After 30 years in education, I can promise you this: the right program is out there, and your child will thrive when you find it.